The Big book of Office Bollocks

In honour of National Sickie day we present to you six utterly fool proof ways to call in sick - and get away with it! These steps have all been taken from the wise words of The Big Book of Office Bollocks (also featuring fantastic lists such as Ten Things We'd All Like to Say to Our Boss and Six Office Puns That We Love to Hate).

SIX TIPS TO CALLING IN 'SICK' AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT!

1. Make the call at 9.01am - be proactive about it. Don't put it off.

2. Don't leave a voicemail - call back every five minutes until you speak to your boss personally.

3. Be confident and to the point - don't bumble on for ten minutes apologising. 

4. No fake ill sounds and weak coughs - remember you have to go back to work tomorrow, you can't be too ill.

5. Ask if there is anything you can do remotely from home, if you 'find the strength.'

6. Apologise once and only once. Remember you've got nothing to apologise for - you can't help being 'ill', right?

Simple, no? With these tips your plan will be fool proof. Good luck this Sickie Day and Get 'Well' Soon!

The Big Book of Office Bollocks is available now.